You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
