Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
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