ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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