We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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