I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
