That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
