Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
