Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
