I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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