You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize