We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
