yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i will never coherently bang her
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
