Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
