Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
