just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
