Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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