We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
