He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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