There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
