Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
