it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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