He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
