Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
