Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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