You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I am available for nakedness
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
