i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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