the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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