My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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