you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Fuck me I smell like cheese
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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