There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
