hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
