I look better un-naked...
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
