Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
