Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
false alarm, still single
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
