people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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