hotel room ftw
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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