maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
