She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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