i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
