he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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