I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
