i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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