"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He felt like a one man threesome
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
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