Joe is yelling at the trees again.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
