I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
