she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
