got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
