Porn is love you can see.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize