My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
