yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
PANTIES FOUND
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