I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
