We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
