Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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