If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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