Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
