Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
