two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
